Let go the hand…..

Ok, I’m a Mom……….well, I’m an old mom and my three children are now all grown-up and out living their lives……..which was the general plan I had when they were born. “Just renting them for 21 years……” I kept telling myself when they were each born. I even clipped out a little verse that said “Blessed is the mother on earth, but more Blessed in Heaven is the mother who knows when to let go the hand….” Right!

I thought I totally understood that! ………not so much I discovered! It all looked so good on paper and I did always keep in mind that my job was to spend their first 18 years preparing them for their ‘adulting’. And that happened very successfully! They were very prepared! The problem was that I wasn’t!!!

I hadn’t thought about the empty nest thingie. So, I had to change my little clipping to “Bless the mother who really GETS the ‘let go the hand’ ’cause in MY mind it sucks! <<<< a word I never used in front of them nor allowed them to use……..Yes, I was a proper parenter. When doing my student-teaching year, I learned to clean up my mouth in a hurry! The worst that ever came out with my dear little 3rd graders was “Oh, poop!” one day and they giggled! Oops! Didn’t happen again. 🙂 Later, when I decided to change careers and became an RN I even avoided ‘poop’…that can be taken in several ways, I guess! Oh, by the way, I have a habit of digressing and putting in comas when and wherever I feel like it! Back to the empty nest……….

My kids were my life! I love nursing, but my kids were the center of my existence in every way! So when they left one by one to go off to college I mourned that hugely! Were they thinking of me? Did they need something? Were there any problems I could help with?? I never shared those feelings with them, of course. I just felt so empty inside. So many years of their being the center of my world and I’ll be danged if they didn’t all go out and face the world well-prepared! It sounded so right on paper………..

Who was I going to take care of now? Who was going to come to me with a problem that they’d always believed I had the instant answer for?? They just thought I was born that way. They didn’t realize it was life lesson along the way that gave me the answers! All kids must think their mothers were born ‘mothers’. Hey, I roller skated, I played ‘house’, I fumbled up, I had fears of the “Boogie Man”….that guy who lived in my house, in the attic, in the dark, and was most certainly there in the winter months at 6 p.m. when I made the dash in the dark from my piano teacher’s backyard, through two other backyards……always remembering to duck where I thought the clotheslines might be…to my own backyard…..sighing and out of breath when I opened the back door…….whewww, he missed me again, though I knew he’d be there again the following Tuesday evening. But, shoot now he was just waiting for my at the end of the longest hallway on God’s green earth,  in the storage room right spank next to the only bathroom in the house!

Yeah, I was a kid once, you guys and no, it was not in black and white like the photos.  We really did have color!! I was not born a MOM, but I HAD a mom who I was certain Was born one………………different story for a different time.

For now, I’ll just say this blog is for moms or retired moms……..and there will be a lot of thoughts about getting through the empty nest and I’m sure a bunch of ramblings about whatever jumps to the front of my brain at the moment.

Oh, woo hoo……there’s an email from one of my ‘adulting’ kids….gosh, do you suppose he needs something!!! ……..to be continued…….Oh, and people call me “Mars” for obvious reasons……..the mother ship awaits! Have a great Easter weekend! ………Oh, watch out for that over-sized Rabbit running around with a basket of colored eggs ….sometimes we..uh ..I mean HE forgets that part about boiling them first……..but they color up real nice! ……..it looked so good on paper…Mars